In these days of high rent, and especially while one is obtaining a higher education, living with others who one may or may not be related to is practically required. Whether one's roommates are family members, friends or initial strangers, going into the living arrangements with your eyes wide open helps. A positive living situation with others is assisted by recalling or finding out essential things regarding that individual's personality and maintaining communication and common courtesy on a daily basis.
Knowing your Roommate
The better you have a sense of what the person you live with likes and dislikes, the more you will be empowered to reduce or avoid conflict. Important aspects to discover are:
- is the person a morning or night person?
- are they introverted or extroverted?
- do they need lots of personal space or little?
- are they interested in decorating?
- are they into loud music, lots of TV watching or regular parties?
- do they have any history of violence, rent evasion or other problematic acts?
- are they allergic to or sensitive to anything in particular, from food items to scents?
- do they like the room hot or cooler?
- do they smoke, drink, take drugs?
and so forth.
The key is that the more you know about your potential roommate, the better equipped you are to either not rent to them or move in with them, or to peaceably share a living space.
Sometimes, with family, it's harder to ask these questions or one may think the knowledge is commonly known when it isn't. Either way, roommates need to interview each other in order to make the most appropriate decisions regarding their living environments.
Living with your Roommate
As one may have to share a space with another individual or several people for a number of years, it is vital to remember basic politeness, courtesy and consideration on a daily basis. Here are three ways to maintain a positive living arrangement with others.
Keeping the accommodations clean is very important. Each inhabitant should be responsible for certain chores and these should be maintained in a regular, consistent fashion. Leaving dirty dishes on the counter for days on end is a sure-fire way to irritate roommates. Saying you will get something done and then indefinitely postponing doing it will be guaranteed to irritate. Follow through with obligations and communicate regarding particular abilities or interests such as cooking vs cleaning.
Maintain boundaries and expect others to do the same. Don't invade your roommates' privacy, take their clothes or other possessions, borrow things without asking or pry into their personal life. Be respectful of their space and their expressed desire for several hours alone or time with their boyfriends.Try to keep the noise and music to bearable levels. And maintain as predictable a schedule as possible but also be flexible, thereby keeping the door open for discussion.
Spend time with your roommate as is comfortable for them, enjoying movie nights together, traveling or grocery shopping. Make the relationship as real and as direct as you can. This will facilitate the immediate addressing of any issues that arise. If they don't want to be buddies, then at least retain the veneer of civility with them to enable a pleasant if not an intimate living environment.
And, of course, pay your rent and any bills on time! This will lessen stress and anxiety and make you a relaxing, reliable person to live with during these difficult economic days.
Catherine Owen - Catherine Owen, MA 2001, has published ten award winning books of poetry/prose. Her writing is lyrical, well-researched and fully ...
